MID Message & Mail

[unaffluent]

I N B O X

IC Voice Mail "You've reached Adam Parrish and I probably didn't want to talk right now." Mun Contact • PLURK: poetanarchy

Comments

[heisenbitch]

[ Jesse doesn't budge. His gaze stays fixed on Adam. He feels like shit, and so he should, he supposes. What kind of asshole would he be to just leave that bombshell just hanging there in the air, though? More to the point, maybe Adam needs to understand the situation. ]

It was before you showed up. Before Ronan even had any clue that you were gonna appear in his life here. He didn't do anything wrong. I didn't do anything wrong. It just happened.

[ He peers at Adam for another beat or so, then finally drops his attention back down to his hands. He picks at his fingernail. ]

A lotta shit had gone down. With the Moira and the messed up shit that happened during the timeslip, and... You got no idea. Both of us were just... I dunno. Reeling from it all, I guess. Looking for comfort or a way to stop feeling so... helpless, or something, I dunno. Ronan and I, we... We'd been through a lot together by that point. Ronan was scared. I was scared. Everyone was scared. And the only person Ronan had at the time, as far as I knew at that point, was Noah and... me. I didn't really have anyone, either. And so, it just... happened. 'Cause what d'you do when you've been through that kinda stuff? You find comfort in the people you feel safest with.

[ Jesse lifts his eyes back up to Adam, to try and gauge his reaction. Does Jesse feel kind of sick with himself that he's omitting the part where he enjoyed using Ronan? Of course. But like he's gonna admit that. ]

I mean, it wasn't like we slept slept together. It was just... touching and stuff.

[unaffluent]

Okay. let me say this in a way you can understand.

Go, yo. [ Adam does not speak swag gangsta. But he's close to losing his temper. There's reasons he had declined to know any details from Ronan. He doesn't wait for Jesse to leave this time. Instead, he gently pushes the lamb off of him and leaves the room himself. He heads for his room because his room he has no qualms locking Jesse out of and everyone else for that matter. ]

[heisenbitch]

[ Jesse probably should have guessed that's exactly how Adam would react. He tilts his head at Adam and gives him a look as if to say, 'Seriously? You're not even gonna talk about this so we can sort this out?' Because that's what Jesse was actually hoping to achieve here, somehow. Expect to feel like shit, absolutely, but at least finally be honest with Adam. Clear the air somehow.

Jesse slouches back in the chair with a defeated sigh as Adam starts climbing off the bed. He drops his head back, eyes closing. Jesse Pinkman strikes again; the guy who ruins everything, even when he's trying not to ruin it at all.

This is exactly the kind of thing Mr. White pulled on him sometimes, too: Jesse would try to put something right, try to make amends, and Mr. White would make him feel like shit for it. Dismiss him. Walk the fuck off and leave Jesse feeling like a giant asshole when Jesse was only trying to fix things. Wouldn't give Jesse a chance to explain, or to apologise, or to try to put things right. And goddamn, did Jesse hate it when Mr. White did that. Even if he knew he deserved it, he hated it.

With Adam gone from the room, Jesse remains seated there, eyes now open, staring up at the ceiling. Feeling like a Giant. Asshole. With one more heavy sigh, he slaps his hands onto the armrests and hauls himself up off the chair. He slouches towards the door, muttering snidely under his breath to himself, "Well done, Pinkman. You've really outdone yourself this time," and though it's said in his own voice, he can hear Mr. White's voice in his head uttering those words in contempt at him. ]