MID Message & Mail

[unaffluent]

I N B O X

IC Voice Mail "You've reached Adam Parrish and I probably didn't want to talk right now." Mun Contact • PLURK: poetanarchy

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[disentombs]

[Gansey's been looking all over the place for Adam--he thinks he may have a lead on how to exorcise the demon from Ronan. He's fairly certain Adam isn't at work... it's late enough anyway that he shouldn't be there.

Not in the kitchen, nor the library, nor the sitting areas...

The last place he has left to look is Adam's room of course.

He finds it with the door closed and knocks--three sharp raps.

He waits a few seconds and doesn't hear anything--no hint of anyone moving beyond the door. Again, he knocks. Gansey gives Adam at bit more time this time. When nothing happens in a couple of minutes, Gansey places a hand on the doorknob and opens the door into Adam's room.]

[unaffluent]

[ Adam's on his bed, he'd taken a couple pills he'd gotten from Kavinsky. They were supposed to do something like numb him, help him sleep...keep the nightmares at bay. He'd had some whiskey with them, maybe after the first pill. If someone asks him later he won't rightly remember. As it was, he's laying on his side, the bottle tipped over and before he'd fallen asleep he'd definitely had more than a few sips.

He doesn't wake when Gansey comes on. True to the advertising, the pills had helped him sleep, kept away the nightmares and kept the emotions from choking him. For once, Kavinsky had actually helped. ]

[disentombs]

[Gansey can feel the bottom drop out of his stomach and the breath catch in his throat when he lays eyes on Adam and takes in the entire scene. It's all wrong. Adam doesn't drink. He looks too still. He's frozen in place. He flashes back to that night when his nose filled with the stench of freshly spilled blood, a familiar figure in the middle of the inky dark pool. He can feel his own blood run cold.

Coming into the room, he drops to his knees next to the bed. He hesitates but then puts a hand to Adam's shoulder and thankfully, it's warm. He shakes Adam briskly by the shoulder. His voice sounds choked at first, like that breath is still caught there.]

Parrish. Adam, wake up. [More shaking.]

[unaffluent]

[ Adam fights whatever is trying to make him wake up. He'd been sleeping deeply, good. He doesn't want to have to wake up but the shaking is so insistent, Gansey's voice impossible to shove aside. And as consciousness is starting to filter in so is a headache.

He groans, trying to pull away from the shaking and also bury his face in the pillow away from light and sound. ]

What'dya want? [ His voice muffled, speech a bit slurred mostly from just being half asleep still. ]

[disentombs]

[A wave of relief washes over him when Adam moves and, even better, when Adam speaks. He's wound tight as a spring but physically relaxes. His grip loosens but he still keeps his hand on Adam's shoulder. His accent is coming through a bit heavier.]

Jesus, Parrish you scared me.

[unaffluent]

I'm fine...stop yelling...

[ His head really hurts and he feels nauseous. Why does anyone ever drink? He groans into the pillow and he would have liked to go back to the drug induced sleep now. ]

[disentombs]

[Now that he knows Adam is, in fact, alive, there's more than a couple questions on his mind.]

Did you drink?

[unaffluent]

Obviously. [He's grumpy and his head hurts and he really doesn't feel good.

Why is gansey still talking?]

[disentombs]

[Because he's worried!

Gansey frowns. He continues speaking at his normal volume.]

What happened? Do you need water?

[unaffluent]

I took some pills. I drank some drink and then I slept. [It wasn't rocket science what happened. He knows that Gansey probably wants to know why but Adam doesn't really want to talk about it.]

I'm fine. I don't need anything. [to throw up and shower.]

[disentombs]

Why?

[There's a horrible second where he wishes he could take that back but that part of him didn't want to know. What if it was like what happened with Ronan all over again.]

[unaffluent]

I was tired.

[ It's an extremely simple answer even if it's honest. ]

[disentombs]

Sleeping pills with alcohol?

[That comes out...sounding a bit judgmental. In a "you must know better than that" tone.

He sits back on his heels next to the bed to gather himself.]

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[ Adam reluctantly shifts onto his side and tiredly peers at Gansey. ]

They're not sleeping pills. They're like custom made shit that's supposed to work better with alcohol.

[ And for the first time in so long he'd been sleeping peacefully. ]

[disentombs]

Then what are they for if they're not sleeping pills? And where are you getting them from?

[This all sounds really shady and Gansey is...well, kind of really worried about Adam at this point.]

[unaffluent]

[ Adam definitely isn't telling Gansey where he got them from. He doesn't need or want the lecture that would probably follow that's going to be worse than the one he's already going to get. ]

They just help my brain stop. Really, it's fine. They're fine. It's not like I do them a lot.

[disentombs]

Do you have any idea how that sounds? Do you know what it looked like?

I thought you were...

[He stops here. #1 because he really doesn't want to say it aloud. The truth is, ever since there was that time with Ronan, Gansey has been afraid that it would happen again. One small part of the anxiety accountable for his insomnia. He doesn't want to have to worry about Adam with this too.

#2 because he felt he had no right to say it out loud, as a literal dead man.]

[unaffluent]

[ Adam exhales heavily and he really just wants to exit the room and go throw up and sit in a shower that's too hot to be fully comfortable but he just sits up slowly, rubbing his face and pushing his fingers throug his hair. As much as the sleep had been good, there hadn't been nearly enough and this confrontation is taxing. ]

I wasn't dead. I'm not going to be dead. Ronan is still the one everyone has to worry about.

[disentombs]

[In a rare show of distress, he runs a hand through his own hair as he watches Adam.]

I can't just ignore this. I'm worried about you too. Not just this. In general.

[unaffluent]

[ Adam exhales and he feels a flare of anger that he doesn't quite understand why it comes and it scares him. So he's quick to tear it apart before it can flicker onto his face, before Gansey can even guess that he might have been angry. ]

There's nothing to worry about me for. I'm fine. You're dead. Ronan's dying. you don't have the luxury to worry about me.

[disentombs]

[Softly:]

How about I decide who and what I worry about?

My fate's already decided.

[unaffluent]

[ Adam exhales, annoyance making it's way into his expression but at least it wasn't anger. ]

It's not decided. You're in some shit limbo.

[disentombs]

It is decided. If we ever make it back home, I won't be like this.

[He'd collapse on arrival and never get up.]

[unaffluent]

[ Adam doesn't accept that as a definite. Time has become too clearly a non-linear thing. They can change it. He knows they can. Wasn't that so much a part of everything from the very beginning? ]

You don't know for sure. People who die don't always stay dead.

[disentombs]

[Of course Gansey of all people should know that but still. Still.]

If I wasn't going to stay dead, why did Blue see me that night? St. Mark's Eve?

[Because surely, only people that stayed dead would be seen that evening.]